_________________________________________________________________________________________________________Friday, August 13, 2004
"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone
To have a deep soul relationship with another
To be loved throughly, and exclusively
But God, to a Christian says,
“No, until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me
With having an intensely personal relationship with Me alone
Discovering that only in me,
Is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship
That I have planned for you
You will never be able to unite with another
Until you are united with me
Exclusive of anyone or anything else
Exclusive of any desires or longings
I want you to stop planning
Stop wishing
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing
One that you cannot imagine
I want you to have the very best
Please allow Me to bring it to you
You just have to keep watching me, expecting the greatest things
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM,
Keep listening and learing the things I tell you
You just listen, that's all
Don't worry,
Don't be anxious.
Don't look around at the things others have gotten,
Or what I've gotten them.
Don't look at the things you think you want
You just keep looking to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready
I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than any you would dream of
You see, until you are ready,
And until the one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time)
Until you are satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you
You won't be able to experience the love that
Exemplifies your relationship with Me
And thus, is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love.
Know I love you utterly,
I am God.Believe it and be satisfied.
"
Kenneth Goh painted at 1:54 AM |
"firstly allow me to bitch that the damn title doesnt seem to appear on this damn template..... Grrrrr..... I miss the old one.
me not thinking straight at the moment
"
Kenneth Goh painted at 12:14 AM |
"I figure by the time i write this, the readership for this forlorned space would have dwindled down tremendously ( not that there was much of one to begin with. )
Shouts to Josephine Julia Tan : the poor lassie's in Aus ! :
i never thought I'll say this but she is really missed / tho i dont talk to her much on MSN
that's cause she kinda remind me of the times in Germany. I never told anyone that but since I m in a melancholic mood right now, I'll spill the beans.
I remember Jan 09 2004 like it was just hours before. The long plane right. The first time I talk with cold hair coming out of the my mouth . The strange places/ roadsigns/ languages. Cars on the wrong side of the road.
Deutschland.
A place i learnt to learn and loathe. Over there, I had so much freedom. We had so much fun. staying together. Gossipping.
Kenneth Goh
Josephine Tan
Kenny Toh
Audrey Ng
Maryann Chesery !
the neatest and coolest people around. at least for the 1st month.
at first, all these people were strangers. well not quite strangers i guess. I reckoned of the whole Singaporean group , i was acquainted with the most people.
But these four people ... Jo/Kenny/Audrey and Mar ! They became close friends. at least while we were there.
Can you imagine having to live/ study / grocery shop AND eat with the same 3 /4 people all the time ... that was how things were like back then.
I miss the times me , jo and kenny wld hide in kennys room and make fun of audrey. haha take that cd. audrey kept playing my take that cd so much that i ended up never ever playing it . but i guess she grow on us as time passed. she became less haughty i guess. but after she came back , she was same as ever to me . The Bitch !
Why am I writing all this ?
well , a good friend of mine named Jan ( prounounced as Yaaan ) from germany emailed and evoked all these memories. Think i ll mass message all the friends in Germany and see if I ll get a similar response :>
"
Kenneth Goh painted at 12:00 AM |
"to both of you :
Why must women be so ambigiously difficult ?!
i wish i never had to be born with such imparities.
One : a friend, an important person. someone who has defined my past . but decided to axe me from your life.
how has things changed so much that you have NOTHING to say to me after talking to me so much after all these years. I want to know how you feel, I want to be there when you are weak . I want to still be your ear and counsel. Why do I need to try so hard and be unsuccessful ?
to another: you possibly can bring about a changing factor. a fresh breath of air. Your bubbliness and charm so controlled and reserved around me . I dont know what you think of me . I do know when you tell me but i wish all this doesnt have to be so hard. I wanna try and am willing to. But i just got my heart torn to bits months before. I dont know how much willpower i have. i really dont . One has to move on . I am trying but are you ?
Its been how long ? I bet you wish I'll understand but how could I if you dont share with me more often like you did last night . I pray this wld work out cause i know what you mean to me. Friends ask me often where i stand on u . They dont see why I am still trying .... I do . Because i want to pamper you and love you the way you deserved to be treated. I finally said it. Yes .....
Now its your court .
and no song can befit my emotions more than this ...
John Mayer
Man On the Side
Six numbers, one more to dial
Before I'm before you tonight
I tried to call
Been busy all night
Gave up waiting at daylight
Excuse me Mrs. Busybody
Could you pencil me in when you can
Though we both know that the worst part about it
Is I would be free when you wanted me
I am the man on the side
Hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man on the side
One of the many
One of the few
To stand back and wait for you
Excuse me Mrs. Busybody
Could you pencil me in when you can
Though we both know that the worst part about it
Is I would be free when you wanted me
I am the man on the side
Hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man on the side
I fell in love with the dream that I built of you
Playing the part of the queen
Taking my own advice
I'm giving up tonight
Good luck to you and the king
I am the man on the side
Hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man
You know life as the man
Living life as the man on the side
"
Kenneth Goh painted at 12:35 AM |
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"
Kenneth Goh painted at 11:39 AM |
"HCJC winners .... SCJC ...oops SCGS (Singapore Chinese Girls' School). and so marks my last involvement with any debating tournament either as a debator or adjudicator .
The semifinals were between ACS (Anglo-Chinese School) and SCGS. Against all odds and apparently against the wishes of certain ACS teachers , we ( yes all 5 judges including the very credible Paul Tan :>) gave it unanimously to SCGS . The AC boys just did not make the cut filling their arguements with mere claims or arguementation by example. Having said so, the boys did mention a credible smooth presentation but just did not answer the important questions brought up by the SC girls.
The final was between SCGS and RGS on the motion " THW celebrate the power of the free press"
The first SCGS speaker was shaky despite the fact that it was a debate they had prepared a whole week for . The RGS first speaker did a good job but somehow felt otherwise. I was quite surprised and saddened by the fact that she was so distraught after she sat down from her speech . IT doesnt help impressions.
Then comes April :> Smart and cute. Still I felt she did a good job without any partiality from me. Notta at all.
The 3rd speakers just did not turn up . So
yesh... the final result ended in a 5-4 split within the 9 man panel.
Bouncy hair ....
swept all in sight in her girlish cuteness.
No I am no paedophile cause i never saw her in any weird sexual way.
thank you very much
"
Kenneth Goh painted at 9:54 PM |
"love changes everything or so they tell you. Who am I to comment ?
My one true love left me for Him.
The other left me for him.
and now. she is hung up over him.
I don't know. Do people who adore another ... refuse to hold hands or do things couples in love do.
Haste be to those fail in thought they say. And I have.
To you, who am I to you. How does he come in the equation. Does it mean anything to you that i adore you enough to want to be with you? If you don't feel the same then why did you say Yes... but wait you did not . You said " I guess . " If you're not ready to open up to me, let me know. I m tired of having to pick your mind.
I don't believe I'm some rebound. I believe you have the decency not to let that happen but I need to know whats on your mind .
Bleeding soul / of times past and present / plague me not on my forsaken sins/
Purge it from within this boundless depth .
Kenneth on a lyrical creative binge.
"
Kenneth Goh painted at 12:39 PM |
"when you fall out with people, you normally just ignore them.
what if some childish kids like danielle and cheryl decide to scream at u everytime they see you online they'll scream their heads for fun.
Cheryl called me names , like fat bastard and all that , when she came online she just ranted at me for nothing. I did not even talked to her. Ridiculous. The things people do!
"
Kenneth Goh painted at 8:21 PM |